I watch way more TV than you. This is not a way to sound snobby, just the opposite. It probably just means I watch too much TV, including bad television, but what I can tell you is that I have watched enough to make this list something you can sort of believe in. It’s also not a way to tell people the shows they watch suck (and it’s ok to like sucky TV), but more to get people to watch the best that is on TV, because there are amazing stories being told, and they really should be told to you.

On with the rankings! Also, SPOILER ALERT.

10. Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 7, FX)
What is it?: 4 friends from high school and Danny Devito run a bar. They are all sociopathic, vain, sometimes insane and sometimes clinically retarded.

Why is it awesome?: It’s amazing how a show could get better this late into it’s run, and by doing it through devolving their characters into even more terrible people. Mac gaining 50 pounds (which Rob McElhenney actually did in real life because he thought it would be “funny”) was also comedy genius.

Best Episodes: “Frank’s Pretty Woman”, “The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore”, “Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games”, “The Gang Gets Trapped”

Best Scene: The vacation montage that gets incredibly dark in “The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore”, dance number at the end of “The High School Reunion Part 2: The Gang’s Revenge”

9. Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season 8, HBO)
What is it?: A mostly improve, semi-fictional show based on Larry David, the co-creator of Seinfeld.

Why is it awesome?: Very hard to top a season 7 that included a Seinfeld reunion, but the move to New York allowed for more Seinfeld style over the top, narcissistic craziness.

Best Episodes: “Mister Softee”, “Palestinian Chicken”

Best Scene: Susie has an unintentional orgasm in Larry’s broken vibrating passenger seat in “Mr. Softee”

8. Archer (Season 2, FX)
What is it?: Animated series about a dysfunctional spy agency.

Why is it awesome?: Just very well written with great R-rated humor. Helps that many of the characters are voiced by Arrested Development alumni. Huge leap from season 1 to this year becoming the best animated show on television by far.

Best episodes: Every episode has been great, but “El Secuestro” is by far the best. Pam gets kidnapped. Nobody gives a sh*t.

Best scene: The origin of Woodhouse on “Double Deuce”

7. Boardwalk Empire (Season 2, HBO)
What is it?: Prohibition era drama about the eventual crime lord Enoch “Nucky” Thompson (based on real life figure Nucky Johnson) in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Why is it awesome?: The emergence of Jimmy as a central character in the show, the twisted origins of his relationship with his mother and just a real step up for all it’s side characters. It’s a show that looks great, is well acted, and features the usual HBO sex and violence.

Best episodes: “Under Gods Powers She Flourises”, “To The Lost”

Best scene: The closing confrontation in “To The Lost”

6. Homeland (Season 1, Showtime)
What is it?: A US prisoner of war is freed from Iraq after 8 years in captivity. Meanwhile, CIA operatives find an Al Qaeda mole warning them that “a US soldier has turned”

Why is it awesome?: Claire Danes submits the performance of her career as bi-polar CIA agent Carrie Mathison, and the tension built up throughout the season’s plot is just fantastic. Imagine 24 without the crazy twists just for the sake of crazy twists.

Best episodes: “The Weekend”, “Representative Brody”.

Best scene: Carrie and Brody have an honest conversation at the lakehouse in “The Weekend”

5. Louie (Season 2, FX)
What is it?: Semi-fictional vignettes and stand up comedy created by Louis CK, currently the best stand-up comedian on the planet.

Why is it awesome?: Insanely real and thought provoking, especially for a comedy, with episodes dealing with suicide, the Iraq war, coming up as a standup comedian, unrequited love and a confrontation with Dane Cook (playing himself). Louie can really find the comedy in making things unbearably real and sad. Oh, and bits of his standup are always fantastic.

Best episodes: “Eddie”, “Duckling”, “Oh Louie / Tickets”, “Subway / Pamela”

Best scenes: Louie professing his love to Pamela in “Subway / Pamela”

4. Community (End of Season 2 / Beginning of Season 3, NBC)
What is it?: A mismatched group of people form a study group in Greendale Community College and go on unlikely adventures.

Why is it awesome?: Community really pushes the bar when it comes to creating a comedy, especially in their “epic” episodes. Really, when it is at it’s best, it is the best show on television. Unfortunately the start of season 3 has been a little uneven. It has however created more of televisions most memorable moments, including “Remedial Chaos Theory”; the single most creative episode of television in 2011.

Best episodes: “Advanced Dungeons & Dragons”, “Paradigms of Human Memory”, “Remedial Chaos Theory”, “Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism”, “Documentary Filmmaking: Redux”

Best scenes: Evil alternate universe in “Remedial Chaos Theory”, Foosball anime scene in “Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism”, and the speech montage in “Paradigms of a Human Memory”

3. Parks and Recreation (Season 3 / Beginning of Season 4, NBC)
What is it?: A documentary style show detailing the activities of the Pawnee, Indiana Parks and Recreation Department

Why is it awesome?: The most loveable characters on television. Seriously. This show makes you feel so good that you constantly root for every character on the show. Not to mention that season 3 was one of the most impressive comedy seasons ever, without a single bad episode. Ron Swanson may also be one of the funniest characters on TV right now.

Best episodes: “Jerry’s Painting”, “The Fight”, “Li’l Sebastian”, “Citizen Knope”, “End of the World”.

Best scenes: Drunk montage in “The Fight”, ending in “End of the World”, anything including Jean Ralphio or Chris Trager.

2. Game of Thrones (Season 1, HBO)
What is it?: Medieval fantasy series based on the “A Song of Ice and Fire” novel series by George R. R. Martin.

Why is it awesome?: Because simply put, the books are awesome, and the show really sticks with the source material. Think of an R-rated Lord of the Rings but somehow more badass. Best new show of 2011 (edging out Homeland), and probably the most anticipated next season in 2012.

Best episodes: “A Golden Crown”, “Baelor”

Best scene: Khal Drogo fights one of his men in “The Pointy End”, Tyrion, Shae and Bron play a version of truth or dare in “Baelor”

1. Breaking Bad (Season 4, AMC)
What is it?: Walter White (Bryan Cranston), an overqualified high-school teacher finds out that his wife is about to have a second child, and that he has cancer and very little time left to live. He joins an ex-student Jesse (Aaron Paul) to create the best meth in New Mexico and begin their life as drug dealers.

Why is it awesome?: Because it shows the slow and subtle downfall of almost every character into what causes people to “Break Bad”. Also includes one of the most complicated bad guys on television in Gus Fring (played by Jean Carlos Esposito), who may overtake Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul as the best actor on television. With a cast like that, a plot following the fantastic third season, and an ending that makes it unbearable to wait for season 5 (the series finale), you have my friends, the best show on television.

Best episodes: “Box Cutter”, “Bug”, “Crawl Space”, “Hermanos”, “Face Off”

Best scenes: The origin of Gus Fring in “Hermanos”, I am the one who knocks in “Bug”, Walter goes crazy after realizing the money is missing in “Crawl Space”

Honorable Mentions: The Walking Dead, Fringe (latter half of season 3), Wilfred, South Park, 30 Rock, The League, Modern Family. Variety shows don’t feel like they should count, despite always being entertaining (Best of the Year: The Daily Show, Real Time with Bill Maher, Tosh.0, Late Late Show with Craig Feguson)

Before we end, a little rant on the worst show on television this year: Entourage (season 8, HBO)
Seriously, how does a show with a decent cast and all the cameo’s they could possibly want come up with the garbage that was season 8? No story has consequence, and everything ties up perfectly in the laziest way possible. There isn’t a lazier writing staff than the one of Entourage, with plots that included Vince trying to make a reporter fall in love with him by bringing her on the most perfect date ever, in which she does…without showing the actual date! What’s worse is how the season began with such promise, yet by the end of the season (only 8 episodes), everyone seems to forget that the suicide of a writer/director, that supposedly traumatized Vince, even happened. And the fact that things turned out great for Turtle and E despite the fact they have been such dicks/idiots for the past few years is ridiculous. How I managed to watch this bull**** for 8 seasons is beyond me.

Feel free to leave comments, and let’s look forward to a great 2012 TV season!

Garron Chiu: @thegarz88
Banana Times: @bananatimes

The 2010-2011 Golden Globe Awards are on this weekend, and I think the title of this post sums up what I have to say about this year’s nominations. The Golden Globes are BALLS!

Being an avid wannabe moviegoer and an aspiring filmmaker who thoroughly believes in cinematic magic, I hate to admit that the film industry could be politically motivated or just plain rigged. The Golden Globes continue to display questionable nomination after questionable nomination, furthering themselves from their goal of being on the same level as the Oscars. I think it’s time someone bought the Hollywood Foreign Press an English dictionary so they can look up the word “comedy” and find out its literal definition.

Best Motion Picture – Drama:

Nominees – Black Swan, The Fighter, Inception, The King’s Speech, The Social Network

This category makes the most sense to me. Granted that films like 127 Hours and True Grit could be considered as well, but this is a solid lineup of dramatic films. The rest of the categories, I’m not so sure.

My Pick: The Social Network / Reality Pick: The King’s Speech or Inception

It may not be an accurate depiction of the lives of the creators of Facebook, but it was one hell of a movie. It was like The Dark Knight in a way. If you took out the name “Batman” or “Joker” as the primary hero and villain, The Dark Knight would still be a masterpiece of a crime drama. Same with The Social Network. Take out the name “Facebook” as the Internet phenomenon, an excellent dramatic film still remains. Due to their non-American production (The King’s Speech) and high gross (Inception), these two films might actually take the win. You know how the Globes are; they gave it to Avatar last year.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama:

Nominees – Halle Berry (Frankie and Alice), Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole), Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone), Natalie Portman (Black Swan), Michelle Willians (Blue Valentine)

My Pick: Natalie Portman / Reality Pick: Natalie Portman

Although Nicole Kidman evidently shows that she’s still got her dramatic acting chops, and the surprising breakout performance by Jennifer Lawrence, I think Natalie Portman has a pretty tight grip on this one. Judging by her amazing performance in Black Swan and less critical press about the other nominees, I’m confident that she’d take the Globe and the Oscar.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama:

Nominees – Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network), Colin Firth (The King’s Speech), James Franco (127 Hours), Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine), Mark Wahlberg (The Fighter)

My Pick: James Franco / Reality Pick: Colin Firth

All good picks except Mark Wahlberg, whom I think is a filler pick, and I have a feeling he will appear again as a filler pick when the Oscars come. The ones that stood out the most for me were James Franco and Colin Firth’s performances. Jesse Eisenberg played a great asshole version of Mark Zuckerberg (or a lesser asshole) but I still could not see past his type-casted, stereotyped self. James Franco is my favorite to win because of his ability to make it feel like 127 hours, when the film lasted less than two. I’m betting that he would be the first host of the Oscars ever to win. Colin Firth is a very close second and also his best performance yet.

Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical:

Nominees – Alice In Wonderland, Burlesque, The Kids Are All Right, Red, The Tourist

My Pick: The Kids Are All Right / Reality Pick: Who gives a f***!

This is where shit hits the fan. This is what gives the movie industry a bad rep. Let’s start at the top shall we:
Alice In Wonderland. This movie is only passable to be nominated in this category because of its musical background and whimsical nature. Fine, I accept that, barely.
Burlesque. Technically, it is a musical. But regular movie folks should know it is definitely not awards worthy. The only other musical released this year was the animated “Tangled”, which much more deserves a nomination than this Cher-like mess.
The Kids Are Alright. The most deserving nomination in this category and should be the rightful winner. The ensemble cast blends effortlessly together in this underrated independent film exploring the complexities of lesbian parents, surrogate fathers, and (no pun intended) a modern American family.
Red. Marketed as an action-comedy but it wasn’t that funny. Want a comic book movie that covers “comedy” and “musical”? Scott Pilgrim VS The World! I would think this would be an obvious choice. It is truly disappointing that it was not seen by more people.
The Tourist. F*** it. The most bullsh** nomination I have ever seen.

In my ideal world, these should be the nominations:

Get Him To The Greek, I Love You Philip Morris, Scott Pilgrim VS The World, The Kids Are Alright, Toy Story 3

And Toy Story 3 would win it by miles. I think Toy Story 3, I Love You Philip Morris and The Kids Are Alright have a shot at Best Picture nominations when the Oscars come. I can even list a few more films as honorable mentions to show how messed up the nominations for this category are: Easy A, Despicable Me, Date Night, Due Date, How To Train Your Dragon, Kick Ass, Tangled

Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical:

Nominees – Annette Bening (The Kids Are Alright), Anne Hathaway (Love & Other Drugs), Angelina Jolie (The Tourist), Julianne Moore (The Kids Are Alright), Emma Stone (Easy A)

My Pick: Julianne Moore / Reality Pick: Again, who gives?

Anne Hathaway and Angelina Jolie both don’t deserve to be on that list. Granted, this is a very tough category to nominate for, as funny actresses are rare these days. I won’t rant more on the disaster that is The Tourist being in any of the comedic categories. But I will say that Julianne Moore should win this category because she was the centerpiece that made The Kids Are All Right such a delight to watch. She could get an Oscar nomination with Bening getting one for Supporting Actress. To fill in the rest of the nominations, I would choose Tina Fey (Date Night) and Rachel McAdams (Morning Glory) for the heck of it.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical:

Nominees – Johnny Depp (Alice In Wonderland & The Tourist), Paul Giamatti (Barney’s Version), Jake Gyllenhaal (Love & Other Drugs), Kevin Spacey (Casino Jack)

My Pick: Kevin Spacey / Reality Pick: PROBABLY Johnny Depp…

Like the previous category, Johnny Depp from The Tourist and Jake Gyllenhaal is a frustrating mystery on this list. Although Casino Jack was a weak film adapted from real life, Kevin Spacey performed well as Jack Abramoff and carried the messy film all on his own. Other possible nominees that would have made more sense: Russel Brand and Jonah Hill (Get Him To The Greek).

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture:

Nominees – Amy Adams (The Fighter), Helena Bonham Carter (The King’s Speech), Mila Kunis (Black Swan), Melissa Leo (The Fighter), Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

My Pick: Melissa Leo / Reality Pick: Amy Adams

I think the press would give the award to Amy Adams because her role is hierarchically less of a supporting character than Melissa Leo’s character. But in terms of performance, Leo definitely made her presence more evident than the Amy Adams. I would undoubtedly nominate Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) over the Helena Bonham Carter and Mila Kunis due to her prodigy-like breakout performance in her first major film.

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture:

Nominees – Christian Bale (The Fighter), Michael Douglas (Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Andrew Garfield (The Social Network), Jeremy Renner (The Town), Geoffrey Rush (The King’s Speech)

My Pick: Christian Bale / Reality Pick: Christian Bale

Christian Bale takes this award and the Oscars by a mile weeks before any nomination lists were released. Much like how Heath Ledger stole the film with his spellbinding performance in The Dark Knight, Bale stole The Fighter and made it seem like more of a Dick Ecklund film rather than a Mickey Ward film. Irony at its finest. Michael Douglas seems like a filler nomination or a sympathy vote, as offensive as that sounds. Ewan McGregor would have been a more fitting nomination from I Love You Philip Morris.

The Rest:

For Best Director, I would be content if either Darren Aronofsky or David Fincher wins. Both executed their creative leadership respectively in the constructs of two very different films. Aronofsky, the indie film genius, does it again with limited resources and pushed everyone’s performances to their best. Fincher morphs a near-perfect script and a group of young talent into a film about the one of the most significant inventions of the Internet age. I would argue that Danny Boyle should also be as deserving a nomination for his unique and true depiction of Aron Ralston’s death-defying story.

As for Best Screenplay, I would have 127 Hours and The Social Network as the leaders of the pack, but with Aaron Sorkin’s genius writing to win it all, even the Oscar. Due to his screenplay, as inaccurate as it might be, it highlights very relevant current events and people and what can be seen as a device that is changing the way people live in the world. Also because of Sorkin and Fincher, Mark Zuckerberg was named TIME’s Person Of The Year. The Social Network goes beyond film, into politics, and into people’s personal lives.

It is inevitable that Toy Story 3 would win Best Animated Film. I had a pretty confident thought that Dreamworks would finally take it back from Pixar this year when How To Train Your Dragon first came out in March. Boy was I very wrong in June when TS3 was released.

As for television…

Breaking Bad not being nominated for Best TV Drama is a sin. Dexter being nominated on the other hand is an even bigger sin, with their poorest season yet. How the Globes find Glee and Nurse Jackie to be more comedic than clearly the best show on TV this Fall/Winter, Community, is light-years beyond me. Julia Stiles in Dexter was a very unlikable character, and another anomaly of a nomination. And last but not least, Scott Caan nominated for his role in Hawaii Five-0?! I vote Donald Glover to replace his nomination spot immediately.

As I stated in the title of this post, this year more than any year before, the Golden Globes have demonstrated their lack of creative criticism, their politically steered intentions, and overall ridiculousness. Yes. This year more than ever, the Golden Globes are BALLS! Let’s hope the Oscars are better.

-phibz.

I haven’t written a harsh and critical movie review since the comic-book adaptation blasphemy that is Spiderman 3, but thanks to Mr. Shamalamadingdong I get to vent once again. First things first, background check. I may be out of turn speaking so unkindly about a film that was adapted from a franchise that I only recently came to love. I only finished watching Avatar: The Last Airbender two days before watching the live-action movie, meaning I am still in a haze of praise for the Nicktoon. But even if you disregard background knowledge of the animated series, M. Night Shyalaman’s The Last Airbender was a theatrical disaster.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS TO THE HORRIBLE EXCUSE OF CINEMA THAT IS M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN’S ‘THE LAST AIRBENDER’. JUST READ IT. YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.

First things first, since the ethnic mix up in the film is blatantly obvious, I’m going to disregard it, for now. I could come up with many theories on why Shyamalan decided to stray away from the source material and mess up all the races portrayed elegantly in the original series. For example, Shyalaman’s last three films have been pretty much failures, and I hope he knows that. It is possible that he needed to give himself (and his people) a big ego-boost by casting the powerful, colonizing and tyrannical Fire Nation as predominantly South Asian. How noble to give back to your people M. Night. If I had three consecutive horrible films and my next one was expected to be worse, I’d cast the powerful characters as Bananas (white-washed Asians, for lack of a lengthy description) for sure. Not white-washed Asians, actual bananas, they would be more menacing than the Fire Nation in the film anyway.

First thing that made me cringe, which was no more than 10 minutes into the film, was the pronunciation of words and names. Aang is “Ong” instead of “Ang”; Sokka is “Sow-ka” instead of “Soh-ka”; Iroh is “Ee-row” instead of “Ai-row”; and at times characters would say the word “Avatar” as if Arnorld Schwarzenegger possessed their body, and the list goes on. Understandably, this can be seen as Shyamalan’s feeble attempt at trying to inject some proper Chinese/Asian-ness into an otherwise rock-bottom attempt at trying to adhere to the original cartoon. But, film adaptations are allowed to vary with certain aspects such as pronunciation of certain words and names. But the problem is Shyamalan’s inconsistent and indecisive choices with his reference to the source material. He obviously wanted a trilogy, each film adapting the three books (Water, Earth, Fire), or three season of the cartoon. Why go through the trouble of mirroring the storyline and dialogue so similar in structure to the source material, and fail to mirror anything else of relevance?

Disregarding the wannabe Star Wars scrolling text at the beginning of the film, the introductory scene, where they reveal Avatar Aang for the first time, was so lackluster and uncaptivating that anyone can predict the rest of the film to be just as unimportant. This is the scene where THE Avatar! Savior of the world! Master of the four elements! Awakens from is century-long slumber to end the treachery of the Fire Nation. There was no sense of epicness, not even an exciting soundtrack to somehow uplift the importance of the Avatar’s reappearance. Nothing. No emotions of grandeur were conveyed, no urgency, nothing to steer the movie into any type of positive outcome. It’s as if Jesus’ second coming was greeted with a chorus of shoulder shrugs and people saying, “meh”.

Aang was supposed to awaken from the sphere of ice full of joy, playfulness and positive energy. He’s supposed to embody the endless amount of energy a 12-year old should have. Instead, the only slither of optimism he had was when he visited his old Air Temple. Most of the time he just looked confused and constipated. The weird expression he had at the end of the film when giving his half-assed monkey bow to the people of the Northern Water Tribe, reflected the look I had when watching the film. It was like he was resisting the pain of a very small carrot being shoved into his ear, without flinching.

Noah Ringer’s performance in The Last Airbender was definitely questionable, but seeing that he is new to acting and was chosen more for his martial arts background, it was somewhat excusable. It just goes to show Shyamalan’s direction of Haley Joel Osmond in The Six Sense was either a major fluke, or that someone else wrote the script for him (and maybe even held his hand and directed it for him). Basically, Shyamalan can’t direct kids, and it clearly shows in a movie where all the main characters are kids. Rest assured, the original trio of Aang, Katara and Sokka in the live-action version had no resembling mannerisms and personalities of their animated counterparts.

Nicola Peltz, who plays Katara, had a permanent worrisome frown on her face. She always looks concerned about something. That, or she was constantly constipated. Maybe that’s the general direction Shyamalan gave to his young actors. “Act worried! Act concerned! As if you really want to poo but you have to hold it in!” The one shot where she smiles is when Aang bends a giant tidal wave attempting to crush the Fire Nation navy, but of course he doesn’t follow through. Why have Katara break out of her worried constipated state and muster a passable smile as she witnesses the Avatar about to destroy the entire Fire navy only to have him resist as some sort of moral excuse? Katara wants the destruction of the Fire Nation navy Shyamalan! Just give it to her! There is no need for some righteous personality undertone for Aang’s character; you have modeled him to be nothing like his alter ego in the cartoon anyway. There is no quick fix for the sub-par direction Shymalan gave to the actors and the entire movie. And where was Koizilla!

“Sow-ka” was not even slightly as witty, wise-cracking, or as clumsy as he was in the original animation. He, much like his other young co-stars, also had a constipated and worried expression on their face. But what do you expect, it’s the same actor who played the crazy junky vampire in Twilight (yes, I regrettably watched that too). Basically the lightheartedness that packaged the animated series so well is completely non-existent in this movie. Iroh was not wise nor did he have his endless proverbial advice to give to Zuko. Above all, he only mentioned tea once. ONCE! He is a tea JUNKIE! It’s like making an Incredible Hulk movie and making his skin orange! Iroh needs his f***ing tea!

All in all, Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender failed to resemble anything good about the original animated series. He attempted to salvage himself through laughable ethnic pronunciations and a weak mimicry of structure of the original storyline. But there were good aspects to the movie (yeah, I’m surprised too). The first few seconds after the Star Wars scrolling text knock-off was the amazing sequence introducing the four bending elements. It mirrored the original opening sequence of the animated series and added longer authentic martial art movements. That was pretty much the best part of the film. A measly 10 seconds. It honestly got me extremely excited, only to have me sit through another two hours of constant crashing, burning and facepalming. I do have to commend Dev Patel’s decent performance as Prince Zuko. I do feel bad for him. After Oscar-winning success with Slumdog Millionaire, his next film had him surrounded by idiots. I bet he worked hard to put on that American-accent and desperate personality, but all to no avail. There is always one good thing with film adaptations, but they are almost always surrounded by sub-par direction and schoolyard screenwriting.

I shan’t write anymore, it gets my blood bending (see what I did there?). To fans that fell in love with the Nickelodeon original, I share your pain, even though I only joined your ranks recently. It seems that it is a trend in Hollywood to green-lit horrible adaptations of beloved comic books, video games or animated franchises. How many hearts are you going to break Hollywood? How many faces will you palm? How many more bad films are you going to make until you call it quits M. Night Shyalaman?

M. Night, you do understand that you are one of few fathers on Earth who ruined their child’s favorite cartoon right? Actually, that depressing club is just going to increase if more crappy adaptations are given a thumbs up.

If I were you M. Night, I would repent profusely and make a public apology to the thousands, if not millions of kids, teens and adults across the globe that had to see a great piece of storytelling ruined by your own hands. And if they do give the go ahead for adaptations of the Book of Earth and Book of Fire, I suggest you stay far, far away from it. Maybe then will your daughter begin to forgive you. Thank you.

Philbert: @philbertlui
Banana Times: @bananatimes

To supplement my video blog above, I have a few additional thoughts on the LOST series and finale. As said in the video blog, if you were to think in extremes, LOST fans that were more invested in the emotions and drama of the characters would have enjoyed the finale. On the other hand, fans that were more intrigued by the mythology and mystery of the LOST universe would have enjoyed the ending less, much less. But I don’t think this would have been the case if things went as planned.

AGAIN, SPOILERS ARE UP AHEAD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

Ahem. Originally LOST was supposed to have 7 seasons. If LOST continued on its pace in season 6 and carried it into a hypothetical seventh season, I don’t think fans would be as dissatisfied. With that said, I still enjoyed the unexplained and emotional ending, because ultimately it leaves it open for interpretation much like the entirety of the show. That said again, some things could have used some answers.

I think with TV shows like LOST, there should be a fine balance between what needs to be left for audience interpretation and what needs to be explained. This balance would not have been an issue if there was a seventh season, but sadly there wasn’t one. Of course to be in keeping with the show, even there was a season 7, the series finale would need to leave some things left unanswered.

Ultimately I think LOST was shafted by ABC studios. But this is only my personal self-comforting presumption and theory. Although I enjoyed the finale, I am secretly saddened by the lack of many things (sobs). Maybe due to market research and ratings, ABC could not afford to produce another season (or maybe the more realistic explanation was that the 2008 Writer’s Strike f***ed everything up). In the end, if this was the case, the LOST franchise as a whole will never ever be complete and satisfactory. If ABC forcibly removed a season from the original vision of LOST, the creators of the show are then pressured to rush everything and hopefully come up with an ending that is suitable. Maybe if there was a seventh season the entire concept of the “flash-sideways” might not have existed. Or maybe the ending would justify the flash-sideways to be something more than a possible afterlife.

All in all, a seventh LOST season would have done not only the franchise justice, but also the fans. Maybe like Evangelion somewhere down the line a film, a mini-series, a comic, or even a reboot of the franchise would conclude the series in a less “huh?” fashion.

But I can say this, being fans of this great show, we should always brace ourselves to be eternally and predictably lost in some shape or form.

-phibz.

PS: I was pissed off that Jin & Sun were ****** off in that third to last episode. Just some Asian venting. No mind.

It is 3:30am and I got home not long ago from a full day of covering the SuperSkillz event at The Opera House in downtown Toronto, a talent show organized by Filipino Student Associations across the city. It was a great event, especially with the ever-energetic PJ Phil Guerrero mastering the ceremony. Our (HMC) interview with him will always be engraved into my memory due to the sheer hilarity and genuineness of “Sir” Guerrero’s personality. But more on that in my next post.

In around 15 hours, the festivities for the 82^nd Annual Academy Awards will commence. Needless to say (if you saw my recent, and first, video blog), that my Oscar Fever is reaching its highest temperature. I was so ready to write my predictions throughout the day at SuperSkillz, and watching Garron and Alison post theirs only increased my anxiety. But finally I get to, at 3am in the morning.

Let’s start off with the main categories that no one really talks about:

Best Adapted Screenplay

Winner: Up In The Air written by Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner

Banana’s Choice: Up In The Air written by Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner

Runner Up: Precious written by Geoffrey Fletcher

I won’t be too shocked if Precious got a surprise win in this category, but if any other of the nominees wins, there’s something wrong. First of all, District 9 is an adaptation of Neil Blomkamp’s earlier short film which has the same plot. Secondly, Up In The Air was just a better executed film than the rest, as intense as Precious was.

Best Original Screenplay

Winner: Inglorious Basterds written by Quentin Tarantino

Banana’s Choice: The Hurt Locker written by Mark Boal

Runner Up: The Hurt Locker written by Mark Boal

Sorry, everyone knows I am 100% a Hurt Locker supporter, but it seems Tarantino’s multinational/borderline-stealing filmmaking style is likely to take this one. To be fair, he hasn’t written a captivating script since Pulp Fiction, not to say Basterds was better than Pulp Fiction though. I find that in the original screenplay category, great dialogue more often than not wins you the little golden man. Second to that, is to have something intriguingly original, such as Charlie Kaufman’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (I’ll love that movie until that memory-surfing technology is invented and tested, on myself…to erase Eternal Sunshine from my memory?).

Best Animated Feature

Winner: Up by Pete Doctor

Banana’s Choice: Up by Pete Doctor

Runner Up: No such thing

Up is going to win. Just like how WALL-E was destined to win last year. Like Garron said, Up is nominated for Best Picture, so it’s kind of default that it wins this category. Still bitter that Wallace & Gromit won 4 years ago, Miyazaki got ROBBED! Howl’s Moving Castle ftw! C’mon!!

Best Supporting Actress

Winner: Mo’Nique as Marry Lee Johnston in Precious

Banana’s Choice: Mo’Nique as Marry Lee Johnston in Precious

Runner Up: Vera Farmiga as Alex Goran in Up In The Air

Mo’Nique essentially began, and still is, a comedic actress, and look what she pulled out of her bag of talent. I think the defining factor for myself is the clear distinction between her humorous persona, and the disturbingly pitiful character she put on for Precious. I mean, it was frighteningly unreal how sinister and foul her character was, but somehow she found a way to get the audience to sympathize with her. Amazing. Also Vera Farmiga was friggen smokin’, and yes, her performance was very convincing.

Best Supporting Actor

Winner: Christoph Waltz as Col. Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds

Banana’s Choice: Christoph Waltz as Col. Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds

Runner Up: Not even a little close.

To quote Matt Damon on the David Letterman two nights ago – “not a chance in hell”. That’s right. Not a chance in hell that Sir Christoph Waltz won’t win this category. Its almost on par in saying Heath Ledger wouldn’t win Best Supporting Actor last year. Never have I seen a villain in a film show so little physical and facial intimidation, and yet, inject so much malice and fear. The Joker and Hans Landa = top two movie villains of the decade.

Best Actress

Winner: Meryl Streep as Julia Childs in Julie & Julia

Banana’s Choice: Meryl Streep as Julia Childs in Julie & Julia

Runner Up: Carey Mulligan as Jenny Miller in An Education

This category has certainly caused a stir in the movie world. But this also shows a distinction between the politics versus the actual quality of actors. That, or a separation in moviegoers who can distinguish a better performance, and those who just ride popularity trends. I honestly think Bollocks is only getting so much attention and recognition because this is the furthest her dramatic acting career can go. So the Board of Shadowy Figures decided to just give her the award before she surfs the inevitable typecast actor drought. But seeing as how political things can get, Sandra Bullock would probably win, but I refuse to believe it! On the other hand I chose the wonderful Carey Mulligan as the runner-up because I lover her, and that she has a great career waiting for her. This year’s Ellen Page in a way.

Best Actor

Winner: Jeff Bridges as Bad Blake in Crazy Heart

Banana’s Choice: Jeremy Renner as Sgt. William James in The Hurt Locker

Runner Up: Jeremy Renner as Sgt. William James in The Hurt Locker

Like Garron said, the new guy NEVER wins, unless you’re Adrien Brody and you somehow edged out Jack Nicholson. Jeff Bridges is the veteran actor and he deserves a little golden man for the many years he’s put into acting in films. But to be fair, his performance was stronger than the rest. As much as I’m rooting for Jeremy Renner, Sgt. William James isn’t too much of a diversion from Renner’s regular personality. Rugged, fearless, and dangerously logical. The other nominees, such as Morgan Freeman, I think could have executed a more convincing and powerful Nelson Mandela. Honestly, Matt Damon’s performance at times overshadowed the voice of God himself. And I think it’s about time George Clooney played a villain. I mean a real villain, not Michael Clayton. Yikes.

Best Director

Winner: Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker

Banana’s Choice: Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker

Runner Up: Anyone but James Cameron

Even though I tend to have a Canadian bias, this time I really, really do not want to see James Cameron win, anything! Surely Avatar is going to take home Best Visual Effects, Sound Mixing, Sound Editing and even Art Direction, but please let it be the extent of it. I hate to be sexist here, but one thing that captivated me with The Hurt Locker was that a female director brought such cinematic force in a war movie, historically embedded as a male-dominated genre. On top of that, almost the entire cast was male. This goes to show how much outer direction she gave throughout the production of the film. In a sense, Kathyrn was embodying a character unto herself just so she can mold her actors and crew to convey the right messages. Bravo, Madame Bigelow. Bravo.

Best Picture

Winner: The Hurt Locker

Banana’s Choice: The Hurt Locker

Runner Up: Any film but Avatar, The Blind Side, A Serious Man

First to explain my runner up choice(s). Like I said, I don’t want Dances With Smurfahontas, I mean, Avatar to win ANYTHING except technical awards, which it deserves. The Blind Side being nominated still baffles me. There are so many other worthy nominees that could have filled the 10^th spot e.g. Crazy Heart, (500) Days of Summer, Star Trek, Invictus even Julie & Julia would’ve been better. A Serious Man, if there were still 5 Best Picture nominees, this latest Coen Brothers film would have been left out. It was great in its innate art-film nature, but that’s as far as it took me.

An Education, District 9, Up, won’t win, but I still prefer them to the three films I just mentioned. The closest runner-up of the remaining three (Basterds, Precious, Up In The Air) would be Up In The Air in my opinion. I love realist, character-based movies that take the audience through the ups and downs of a slice of a character’s life. The cast was sewn compatibly together and the mockumentary-esque icing made it all the better.

———————-

There you have it, The Banana Times’ Oscar Predictions. I am honestly still bitter that (500) Days of Summer did not get nominated for anything! The Academy Awards still favors dramatic films and performances, leaving genuine comedies, romances, and even dramadies in the dust next to Thomas Haden Church and his crappy and redundant existence in the invisible third movie of the Spiderman film franchise. F*** I hate that movie so much I want to punch James Cameron right in the Piranhas.

-phibz.

Even though we are at the 19th day of the new decade, the Decading Bananas series shall continue until the end of January, as it still marks the events and cultures of the past 10 years. In Part III of Decading Bananas, we are going to open a time capsule of sorts and reveal what kind of influences, interests and fads I was into, as an unknowing young Banana, a short decade ago.

Every time I visit Hong Kong, I always experience several attacks of nostalgia during the journey home from the airport. Even just sitting in my room (which has evolved over the years) and panning my eyes across the short buildings of the neighbourhood, history, my history, naturally unfolds in my mind. This time around I wanted to look for objects that would help me pinpoint what I kind of culture, media and fads I was into around 10 years ago. To my surprise, it was sitting on my shelf the whole time. And this is what I found:

Ten years ago I was an avid collector of CoCo, a bi-weekly comic magazine printed in Hong Kong that regularly featured Japanese manga, local comics as well as gaming news. It was first released in 1997 around the time British rule was handed back to China. Whether the Handover had significance in the birth of this magazine is unknown, but I will look into it. I actually own several issues from 1997 but shall only highlight the ’99 and ’00 issues as it marks what happened a decade ago. The snapshots that follow are the popular trends, manga and culture I, and many other teens, were into at the brink of the millennium.

Like many 10-12 year olds back in late 1999 and early 2000s, I was very much immersed in the global Digimon fad. Ten years ago in Hong Kong, you would be hard pressed to find a kid who did not own Digimon product. Many had 7 or more Digimon Virtual Pets attached to a single key chain, myself included. CoCo followed this trend religiously, to the point where they printed Digimon fan-fiction created by local Hong Kong artists:

In this fan-fiction, Tai has Gomamon and an overweight ExVeemon as his partners

Decapitated DarkTyrannomon versus Etemon

Puppetmon on CoCo cover

*Nerd Alert!* Digimon Adventure was in the midst of airing in Japan at this point, and I don’t think they reached the Dark Masters arc yet. The Puppetmon on this cover of CoCo was to promote the latest Digimon Virtual Pet device that was released, Digimon Pendulum IV: Wind Guardians.

Another major trend in Hong Kong were fighting games such as Street Fighter and King of Fighters. At around the turn of the millenium SNK versus Capcom was released and CoCo followed suit, releasing fan-fictions along the way:

The Match Of The Millenium, well titled

Kyo and Ryu powering up

SNK VS Capcom Fanfiction opening

Noticed how they covered up Mai’s cleavage? Censoring at its best (:

Continuing with another trend in CoCo at the time was Bomberman, but not in the regular sense. These are Bombermen who have marbles at their core, who can either shoot energy blasts out of them, or are used as toys used by teens at tournaments. Both types of these marble-Bombermen have spawned into manga and anime series:

Marble-Bomberman Toys

Marble-Bomberman Toys

Marble-Bomberman Manga

From 1999 to 2000, the world was in between the 1998 France FIFA World Cup and the upcoming 2002 Korea/Japan FIFA World Cup. Even though we were in between the two events, local Hong Kong artists and CoCo kept the football (soccer, for you North Americans) spirit alive through parodies and fan-fiction comics:

Ronaldo caricature on CoCo cover

World Cup manga in CoCo

The once hugely popular Mini-4WD trend was going downhill at this point in time, but CoCo continued to feature them in their issues going into the millennium:

Bakusō Kyōdai Let's & Go MAX promotion

Let's & Go manga in CoCo

Here are some remaining trends, manga and anime that were highlighted by CoCo 10 years ago:

So there you have it. What one of the creators of TheBananaTimes was into 10 years ago. Needless to say my love and passion for anime and manga remains unchanged, but of course I have become more selective to which ones I watch and read. For example, no matter how sexually desperate I was as a young pubescent boy, I would never find the weird-looking big-breasted women in the snapshot above, attractive in any sense. The same goes for now…

Manga and Anime will always be a big part of my creative life and personal life, and it seemed that way back in the year 1999 and 2000 (:

-phibz.

It looks like Jay Leno’s move to an earlier time slot didn’t work out as well as NBC had hoped. With lackluster ratings NBC is contemplating bumping Jay Leno into a 1/2 hour slot at the original 11:30 est slot and then bump Conan and Fallon’s show to start at 12:05 and 1:05 respectively. As much as I liked the occasional Jay Leno, 20+ years in the same “role” is already pretty good in my books, retiring now wouldn’t be a huge blow to his repertoire. Conan on the other hand has been able to grab a younger audience which of course is an affiliate’s dream and plus he does have a $50 million penalty clause in his contract which I think NBC would definitely not want to touch. Well and as for Fallon, well….let’s just say I watch it only for ?uest Love.

source: Chicago Tribune, Washington Post

-wilks (@wilkinc)

A couple of months ago, I had a conversation with a good friend about my future and how The Banana Times is going to progress. One option for my future was to work for a few years then return to school for a masters degree in possibly Journalism. She asked why not Film Studies, and travel the world for my thesis. I responded “but I wouldn’t know what to write about”. With a brief hesitation I said “…Banana Cinema?”. In retrospect it was an obvious answer, but it never crossed my mind. Naturally, my friend knew this would be the answer all along.

It makes perfect sense since the national cinemas around the world have already been deeply covered and analyzed. Looking further, we live in such a globalized, information-dependent, and international society that language is becoming less and less of a requirement. With that said, national cinemas are evolving beyond the restrictions of their geography and race, thus Banana Cinema is possible.

Banana Cinema will not be contained within a country or a specific culture. It will encompass many Asian cultures and the traces they leave in broadening their horizons past their borders and into other identities. This is definitely something new that can be explored, where a national cinema requires not a nation, but a unified globalized ideology of sorts.

Looking back in the last 10 years, were there any potential young representatives of Banana Cinema that came about? Here are a three people I thought of who have made strides in culture, art and media, as well as influenced myself and The Banana Times (alphabetical order):

John Cho (Actor):

We know John Cho from the American Pie films, Harold & Kumar, and now in ABC’s new drama, Flashforward. Cho has made his mark with the Asian community by by portraying the stereotypical yellowman in Harold & Kumar (soon to be) trilogy, but has graciously advanced into deeper roles such as the revamped Hikaru Sulu in JJ Abrams’ Star Trek and even a guest spot on How I Met Your Mother as the Caucasian-named Jeff Coatsworth. In my opinion his most significant “Banana” role was in Justin Lin’s Better Luck Tomorrow where he played the cunning spoiled Asian high-school student, Steve Choe. More on the film later.

Utada Hikaru (Singer/Songwriter):

Utada Hikaru has very little to do with cinema, let alone Banana Cinema, but she has made huge strides in bringing together Asian and Western audiences. Utada’s body of work speaks for itself, with 5 Japanese and 3 English studio albums selling well over 70 million copies. Although her English work is not as powerful or influential as her native tongue, her global reach is undeniable. You’d be hard pressed to find an Anime lover or a gamer who has not heard of Utada Hikaru (Kingdom Hearts, Rebuild of Evangelion). Personally, if Easy Breezy was not selected as her American debut single, Exodus would have been way more popular and recognized (an underrated album methinks).

Justin Lin (Director):

Born in Taiwan and grew up in LA, Justin Lin made one of the most relatable film to Banana Cinema. Better Luck Tomorrow revolved around a group of Asian-American high school students who became bored of school life and resorted to crime and violence. It was made with a very low budget ($250,000) but made it to the Official Selection of Sundance and the Toronto International Film Festival. The stereotypical Asian student who excels in school is portrayed relevantly, with a splash of crime and drama reminiscent of many Hong Kong films. Lin went on to direct Annapolis and Fast & Furious, but he will forever be remembered, at least in our eyes, by the man who possibly kickstarted Banana Cinema.

Please note that the aforementioned three people are not in any way better or more significant than any other possible representatives of Banana Cinema or any topic regarding the blending of Asian and Western cultures. They were elaborated on because of their emergence in the last decade more or less.

Honorable Mentions (alphabetical):
Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Ang Lee, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Lucy Liu, Masi Oka, Ken Watanabe, John Woo, Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Ziyi

-phibz.

The first decade of our second millennia is coming to a close in 6 days, and it seems a little anti-climactic. But to highlight this landmark event, we here at TheBananaTimes are going to countdown to 2010 with a series of posts called “Decading Bananas: Hong Kong”. As I am now in Hong Kong and will be dissolving into the new year here as well, I will comment and enlighten some cultural, historical and social topics in the past 10 years, mostly relating to the my own experiences and more importantly, the big picture – The Banana.

PART I – THE COMMERCIAL HARBOUR

Being an international student growing up in Hong Kong, the pop culture we absorbed was mainly from the television (Note: International students in HK attended schools where English was the primary language being taught, local students were taught in Cantonese). Those of my generation experienced their childhood and adolescence in a Hong Kong still under British rule with the looming and inevitable handover on the horizon. This meant that the media that we were surrounded by were not necessarily national, and as our schools implied, but were mixed in Eastern and Western cultures.

Post-handover and into the 2000s, Hong Kong TV still retained its bilingual tendencies and its international reputation even increased. Due to the dip in the economy after the 1997 handover from British rule, tourism was a financial savior, and thus the international, consumerist and packaged Hong Kong was more apparent than ever. Spawning from this tourist dependency was a flurry of intricate, touching, narratively rich television commercials and advertisements.

My first day back in town, I had the privilege to check out a Cathay Pacific commercial shoot. I got to Cathay City, the main headquarters of the corporate airliner. They had a half a floor filled with interior sets of airplanes, from models of the 80s up until the latest “fishbone” model today. Walking around the sets was nostalgic and almost dreamlike.

The director was an Englishman, Laurence Dunmore (directed The Libertine), whose fast-pace efficient style controlled the flow of the set intricately. His direction was voiced in a firm and demanding tone but was not intended to be forceful or even rude, just efficient. This attitude suits Hong Kong’s work ethic perfectly, where unnecessary work and roundabout methods are frowned upon. Any thing or time that is wasted is a hindrance to success. It is a dream for any Hong Kong artist in charge of a multilingual set to operate like this.

Another CX commercial directed by Laurance Dunmore

Other than the director and 4 or 5 other people, the rest of the crew were Cantonese speakers. Even with the majority of the cast and crew being Chinese, Dunmore’s fast-pace efficiency still held out. This goes to show the potential of international collaboration in a place like Hong Kong. After realizing this, I discovered where my inter-disciplinary mindset and attraction to cross-cultural creativity originates. This way of thinking was how The Banana Times came about.

The commercials that I have been drawn to, and that have inspired me in the last decade was a clear foundation behind The Banana Times and what we aim to do here. I only hope that even after 12 years after the handover from British rule that this collaborative and unified ideology will not fade, and that Hong Kong is not the only post-colonial region that has adopted this creative practice.

One of my favourite CX commercials

I shall conclude Part I of Decading Bananas here, and ask why not encourage cross-cultural understanding and integration under the common goal of creativity and art? Even if it is for commercial purposes. Until Part II, I bid you all a very happy Christmas!

-phibz.

The last of four posts for today!

Three weekends ago, the boys from the Heroic Melon Collective (including myself) took a drive from Toronto to Waterloo, Ontario. Why Waterloo, Ontario you might ask? Well, other than the being a student town and having a high concentration of studious young people (some people call them nerds, but I call them academically gifted with a side effect of being socially untalented, I’m nice that way), Waterloo really doesn’t have much else to offer – until November 21st came.

The Waterloo Festival of Animated Cinema was held that weekend, and we attended the film festival for one key reason – they were screening Rebuild of Evangelion 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance! This was the first screening of the film in North America (if you exclude Hawaii) in its original Japanese form, with subtitles of course. The Heroic Melon crew are huge anime/manga-philes, and words can not express how excited we were to watch it, and how blown away we were afterward. Since words doesn’t do our experience justice, we’ll let the latest episode of Random Antics show you:

Heroic Melon Collective presents,
Random Antics Volume 14:
You Can (Not) Advance

There you have it. Possibly the best remake of any film or television series. I urge all of you to watch it when it is released in a theater near you. I for one know that it is already out in Hong Kong (it came out December 3rd). If my calculations are correct, Eva 2.0 will be in North American theaters by the summer of 2010 (it’ll be dubbed, but you folks HAVE to see it, one way or another). And believe me when I say, in the Academy Awards ceremony of 2011, Rebuild of Evangelion 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance will be on the nominees list for Best Animated Feature. You heard it here first.

Eva 2.0 trailer:

“Needless to say, Rebuild of Evangelion 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance was epic, legendary, divine”

-phibz.