I haven’t written a harsh and critical movie review since the comic-book adaptation blasphemy that is Spiderman 3, but thanks to Mr. Shamalamadingdong I get to vent once again. First things first, background check. I may be out of turn speaking so unkindly about a film that was adapted from a franchise that I only recently came to love. I only finished watching Avatar: The Last Airbender two days before watching the live-action movie, meaning I am still in a haze of praise for the Nicktoon. But even if you disregard background knowledge of the animated series, M. Night Shyalaman’s The Last Airbender was a theatrical disaster.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS TO THE HORRIBLE EXCUSE OF CINEMA THAT IS M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN’S ‘THE LAST AIRBENDER’. JUST READ IT. YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.

First things first, since the ethnic mix up in the film is blatantly obvious, I’m going to disregard it, for now. I could come up with many theories on why Shyamalan decided to stray away from the source material and mess up all the races portrayed elegantly in the original series. For example, Shyalaman’s last three films have been pretty much failures, and I hope he knows that. It is possible that he needed to give himself (and his people) a big ego-boost by casting the powerful, colonizing and tyrannical Fire Nation as predominantly South Asian. How noble to give back to your people M. Night. If I had three consecutive horrible films and my next one was expected to be worse, I’d cast the powerful characters as Bananas (white-washed Asians, for lack of a lengthy description) for sure. Not white-washed Asians, actual bananas, they would be more menacing than the Fire Nation in the film anyway.

First thing that made me cringe, which was no more than 10 minutes into the film, was the pronunciation of words and names. Aang is “Ong” instead of “Ang”; Sokka is “Sow-ka” instead of “Soh-ka”; Iroh is “Ee-row” instead of “Ai-row”; and at times characters would say the word “Avatar” as if Arnorld Schwarzenegger possessed their body, and the list goes on. Understandably, this can be seen as Shyamalan’s feeble attempt at trying to inject some proper Chinese/Asian-ness into an otherwise rock-bottom attempt at trying to adhere to the original cartoon. But, film adaptations are allowed to vary with certain aspects such as pronunciation of certain words and names. But the problem is Shyamalan’s inconsistent and indecisive choices with his reference to the source material. He obviously wanted a trilogy, each film adapting the three books (Water, Earth, Fire), or three season of the cartoon. Why go through the trouble of mirroring the storyline and dialogue so similar in structure to the source material, and fail to mirror anything else of relevance?

Disregarding the wannabe Star Wars scrolling text at the beginning of the film, the introductory scene, where they reveal Avatar Aang for the first time, was so lackluster and uncaptivating that anyone can predict the rest of the film to be just as unimportant. This is the scene where THE Avatar! Savior of the world! Master of the four elements! Awakens from is century-long slumber to end the treachery of the Fire Nation. There was no sense of epicness, not even an exciting soundtrack to somehow uplift the importance of the Avatar’s reappearance. Nothing. No emotions of grandeur were conveyed, no urgency, nothing to steer the movie into any type of positive outcome. It’s as if Jesus’ second coming was greeted with a chorus of shoulder shrugs and people saying, “meh”.

Aang was supposed to awaken from the sphere of ice full of joy, playfulness and positive energy. He’s supposed to embody the endless amount of energy a 12-year old should have. Instead, the only slither of optimism he had was when he visited his old Air Temple. Most of the time he just looked confused and constipated. The weird expression he had at the end of the film when giving his half-assed monkey bow to the people of the Northern Water Tribe, reflected the look I had when watching the film. It was like he was resisting the pain of a very small carrot being shoved into his ear, without flinching.

Noah Ringer’s performance in The Last Airbender was definitely questionable, but seeing that he is new to acting and was chosen more for his martial arts background, it was somewhat excusable. It just goes to show Shyamalan’s direction of Haley Joel Osmond in The Six Sense was either a major fluke, or that someone else wrote the script for him (and maybe even held his hand and directed it for him). Basically, Shyamalan can’t direct kids, and it clearly shows in a movie where all the main characters are kids. Rest assured, the original trio of Aang, Katara and Sokka in the live-action version had no resembling mannerisms and personalities of their animated counterparts.

Nicola Peltz, who plays Katara, had a permanent worrisome frown on her face. She always looks concerned about something. That, or she was constantly constipated. Maybe that’s the general direction Shyamalan gave to his young actors. “Act worried! Act concerned! As if you really want to poo but you have to hold it in!” The one shot where she smiles is when Aang bends a giant tidal wave attempting to crush the Fire Nation navy, but of course he doesn’t follow through. Why have Katara break out of her worried constipated state and muster a passable smile as she witnesses the Avatar about to destroy the entire Fire navy only to have him resist as some sort of moral excuse? Katara wants the destruction of the Fire Nation navy Shyamalan! Just give it to her! There is no need for some righteous personality undertone for Aang’s character; you have modeled him to be nothing like his alter ego in the cartoon anyway. There is no quick fix for the sub-par direction Shymalan gave to the actors and the entire movie. And where was Koizilla!

“Sow-ka” was not even slightly as witty, wise-cracking, or as clumsy as he was in the original animation. He, much like his other young co-stars, also had a constipated and worried expression on their face. But what do you expect, it’s the same actor who played the crazy junky vampire in Twilight (yes, I regrettably watched that too). Basically the lightheartedness that packaged the animated series so well is completely non-existent in this movie. Iroh was not wise nor did he have his endless proverbial advice to give to Zuko. Above all, he only mentioned tea once. ONCE! He is a tea JUNKIE! It’s like making an Incredible Hulk movie and making his skin orange! Iroh needs his f***ing tea!

All in all, Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender failed to resemble anything good about the original animated series. He attempted to salvage himself through laughable ethnic pronunciations and a weak mimicry of structure of the original storyline. But there were good aspects to the movie (yeah, I’m surprised too). The first few seconds after the Star Wars scrolling text knock-off was the amazing sequence introducing the four bending elements. It mirrored the original opening sequence of the animated series and added longer authentic martial art movements. That was pretty much the best part of the film. A measly 10 seconds. It honestly got me extremely excited, only to have me sit through another two hours of constant crashing, burning and facepalming. I do have to commend Dev Patel’s decent performance as Prince Zuko. I do feel bad for him. After Oscar-winning success with Slumdog Millionaire, his next film had him surrounded by idiots. I bet he worked hard to put on that American-accent and desperate personality, but all to no avail. There is always one good thing with film adaptations, but they are almost always surrounded by sub-par direction and schoolyard screenwriting.

I shan’t write anymore, it gets my blood bending (see what I did there?). To fans that fell in love with the Nickelodeon original, I share your pain, even though I only joined your ranks recently. It seems that it is a trend in Hollywood to green-lit horrible adaptations of beloved comic books, video games or animated franchises. How many hearts are you going to break Hollywood? How many faces will you palm? How many more bad films are you going to make until you call it quits M. Night Shyalaman?

M. Night, you do understand that you are one of few fathers on Earth who ruined their child’s favorite cartoon right? Actually, that depressing club is just going to increase if more crappy adaptations are given a thumbs up.

If I were you M. Night, I would repent profusely and make a public apology to the thousands, if not millions of kids, teens and adults across the globe that had to see a great piece of storytelling ruined by your own hands. And if they do give the go ahead for adaptations of the Book of Earth and Book of Fire, I suggest you stay far, far away from it. Maybe then will your daughter begin to forgive you. Thank you.

Philbert: @philbertlui
Banana Times: @bananatimes

School is out. Now all that stands between me and unemployment are tacky robes that won’t grant me invisibility; a scroll that will make me look like a fool trying to summon a frog out of; and a hat that is not a throwable spinning weapon a la Kung Lau. But I am enjoying the long-awaited freedom, and thus, I’m back to blogging.

Last night I was catching up with my sister in Hong Kong and she told me an interesting story about my somewhat traditional parents. They’re not racist…for the most part, but they do react questionably especially when it comes to homosexuality. The conversation between my sister and I began with school, work, and inevitably relationships. Then it lead to her telling me about this situation she had with our parents (I’ve cleaned up some of the net-speak, apologies Sis):

The parents and the sister are watching TV in the living room. A local Hong Kong variety show was on, with a flashy and arguably flamboyant male host.

Mom:
(in Cantonese) Ugh, look how gay he looks.
(The translation may not do my mother justice, it’s a little closer to “he’s gay to this extent”)

Sister gets annoyed with the remark.

Sister:
Hey mom, what if I told you Phil was gay?

Mother reacts with wide eyes and becomes pale.

Dad:
Hahaha! You really shouldn’t say these things to your paranoid mother!

Sister:
If he was, would you not love him like you do now?

Dad:
Of course we will!

Unlike Dad who responded immediately, Mom hesitated…

As if the story wasn’t funny enough, my sister then went on to say something that knocked me off my chair in laughter – “so if you want to be loved, you can’t be gay my dear : )”

Now in my parent’s defense, they grew up in a different time…that’s all I got to be honest. But what struck me most was the reversal in gender stereotypes. In a typical North American Caucasian family, especially those portrayed in television and movies, shows the father who almost always has the most problems with accepting a gay son. In my parent’s case, it seems my mother would be pale for the rest of her life if I were gay.

Sometimes my siblings and I joke about how one holiday we should all bring home partners of the same sex who have dark skin to meet them. But to prevent any chance of heart attacks and strokes (knock on wood), we’ll refrain from having that elaborate prank materialize.

I have know this about my parents for a while now and it never fails to surprise me. They reside in Hong Kong where, due to influences of other Asian cultures and popular media, many young people you see often dress or appear “gay”. They are surrounded daily by these challenges to traditional gender roles. On top of that, all of my parent’s children are students of the arts, one of whom studied in one of the most notably gay art schools in the US. If nothing else, they should be prepared to brace themselves if one of their children turned out to be gay.

I don’t have a real conclusion here, except to find the humor in the conversation I had with my sister. Also, if you are Asian and you do have trouble with your sexuality, especially with parents, find someone who has been through similar experiences. It doesn’t hurt to talk.

Take the time to watch this inspiring monologue by Craig Ferguson. Try to watch the whole thing, but my main point starts at 4:45 and goes on until the end.

Sir Ferguson talks about alcoholism and his own life story, but his advice can be easily translated into problems with sexuality. Just talk to someone. Someone who has been through something similar. “It doesn’t cost a thing” to talk. I hope this helps in some way.

Mom and Dad, we still love you. Even if you hate us.

Philbert: @philbertlui

It is 3:30am and I got home not long ago from a full day of covering the SuperSkillz event at The Opera House in downtown Toronto, a talent show organized by Filipino Student Associations across the city. It was a great event, especially with the ever-energetic PJ Phil Guerrero mastering the ceremony. Our (HMC) interview with him will always be engraved into my memory due to the sheer hilarity and genuineness of “Sir” Guerrero’s personality. But more on that in my next post.

In around 15 hours, the festivities for the 82^nd Annual Academy Awards will commence. Needless to say (if you saw my recent, and first, video blog), that my Oscar Fever is reaching its highest temperature. I was so ready to write my predictions throughout the day at SuperSkillz, and watching Garron and Alison post theirs only increased my anxiety. But finally I get to, at 3am in the morning.

Let’s start off with the main categories that no one really talks about:

Best Adapted Screenplay

Winner: Up In The Air written by Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner

Banana’s Choice: Up In The Air written by Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner

Runner Up: Precious written by Geoffrey Fletcher

I won’t be too shocked if Precious got a surprise win in this category, but if any other of the nominees wins, there’s something wrong. First of all, District 9 is an adaptation of Neil Blomkamp’s earlier short film which has the same plot. Secondly, Up In The Air was just a better executed film than the rest, as intense as Precious was.

Best Original Screenplay

Winner: Inglorious Basterds written by Quentin Tarantino

Banana’s Choice: The Hurt Locker written by Mark Boal

Runner Up: The Hurt Locker written by Mark Boal

Sorry, everyone knows I am 100% a Hurt Locker supporter, but it seems Tarantino’s multinational/borderline-stealing filmmaking style is likely to take this one. To be fair, he hasn’t written a captivating script since Pulp Fiction, not to say Basterds was better than Pulp Fiction though. I find that in the original screenplay category, great dialogue more often than not wins you the little golden man. Second to that, is to have something intriguingly original, such as Charlie Kaufman’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (I’ll love that movie until that memory-surfing technology is invented and tested, on myself…to erase Eternal Sunshine from my memory?).

Best Animated Feature

Winner: Up by Pete Doctor

Banana’s Choice: Up by Pete Doctor

Runner Up: No such thing

Up is going to win. Just like how WALL-E was destined to win last year. Like Garron said, Up is nominated for Best Picture, so it’s kind of default that it wins this category. Still bitter that Wallace & Gromit won 4 years ago, Miyazaki got ROBBED! Howl’s Moving Castle ftw! C’mon!!

Best Supporting Actress

Winner: Mo’Nique as Marry Lee Johnston in Precious

Banana’s Choice: Mo’Nique as Marry Lee Johnston in Precious

Runner Up: Vera Farmiga as Alex Goran in Up In The Air

Mo’Nique essentially began, and still is, a comedic actress, and look what she pulled out of her bag of talent. I think the defining factor for myself is the clear distinction between her humorous persona, and the disturbingly pitiful character she put on for Precious. I mean, it was frighteningly unreal how sinister and foul her character was, but somehow she found a way to get the audience to sympathize with her. Amazing. Also Vera Farmiga was friggen smokin’, and yes, her performance was very convincing.

Best Supporting Actor

Winner: Christoph Waltz as Col. Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds

Banana’s Choice: Christoph Waltz as Col. Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds

Runner Up: Not even a little close.

To quote Matt Damon on the David Letterman two nights ago – “not a chance in hell”. That’s right. Not a chance in hell that Sir Christoph Waltz won’t win this category. Its almost on par in saying Heath Ledger wouldn’t win Best Supporting Actor last year. Never have I seen a villain in a film show so little physical and facial intimidation, and yet, inject so much malice and fear. The Joker and Hans Landa = top two movie villains of the decade.

Best Actress

Winner: Meryl Streep as Julia Childs in Julie & Julia

Banana’s Choice: Meryl Streep as Julia Childs in Julie & Julia

Runner Up: Carey Mulligan as Jenny Miller in An Education

This category has certainly caused a stir in the movie world. But this also shows a distinction between the politics versus the actual quality of actors. That, or a separation in moviegoers who can distinguish a better performance, and those who just ride popularity trends. I honestly think Bollocks is only getting so much attention and recognition because this is the furthest her dramatic acting career can go. So the Board of Shadowy Figures decided to just give her the award before she surfs the inevitable typecast actor drought. But seeing as how political things can get, Sandra Bullock would probably win, but I refuse to believe it! On the other hand I chose the wonderful Carey Mulligan as the runner-up because I lover her, and that she has a great career waiting for her. This year’s Ellen Page in a way.

Best Actor

Winner: Jeff Bridges as Bad Blake in Crazy Heart

Banana’s Choice: Jeremy Renner as Sgt. William James in The Hurt Locker

Runner Up: Jeremy Renner as Sgt. William James in The Hurt Locker

Like Garron said, the new guy NEVER wins, unless you’re Adrien Brody and you somehow edged out Jack Nicholson. Jeff Bridges is the veteran actor and he deserves a little golden man for the many years he’s put into acting in films. But to be fair, his performance was stronger than the rest. As much as I’m rooting for Jeremy Renner, Sgt. William James isn’t too much of a diversion from Renner’s regular personality. Rugged, fearless, and dangerously logical. The other nominees, such as Morgan Freeman, I think could have executed a more convincing and powerful Nelson Mandela. Honestly, Matt Damon’s performance at times overshadowed the voice of God himself. And I think it’s about time George Clooney played a villain. I mean a real villain, not Michael Clayton. Yikes.

Best Director

Winner: Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker

Banana’s Choice: Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker

Runner Up: Anyone but James Cameron

Even though I tend to have a Canadian bias, this time I really, really do not want to see James Cameron win, anything! Surely Avatar is going to take home Best Visual Effects, Sound Mixing, Sound Editing and even Art Direction, but please let it be the extent of it. I hate to be sexist here, but one thing that captivated me with The Hurt Locker was that a female director brought such cinematic force in a war movie, historically embedded as a male-dominated genre. On top of that, almost the entire cast was male. This goes to show how much outer direction she gave throughout the production of the film. In a sense, Kathyrn was embodying a character unto herself just so she can mold her actors and crew to convey the right messages. Bravo, Madame Bigelow. Bravo.

Best Picture

Winner: The Hurt Locker

Banana’s Choice: The Hurt Locker

Runner Up: Any film but Avatar, The Blind Side, A Serious Man

First to explain my runner up choice(s). Like I said, I don’t want Dances With Smurfahontas, I mean, Avatar to win ANYTHING except technical awards, which it deserves. The Blind Side being nominated still baffles me. There are so many other worthy nominees that could have filled the 10^th spot e.g. Crazy Heart, (500) Days of Summer, Star Trek, Invictus even Julie & Julia would’ve been better. A Serious Man, if there were still 5 Best Picture nominees, this latest Coen Brothers film would have been left out. It was great in its innate art-film nature, but that’s as far as it took me.

An Education, District 9, Up, won’t win, but I still prefer them to the three films I just mentioned. The closest runner-up of the remaining three (Basterds, Precious, Up In The Air) would be Up In The Air in my opinion. I love realist, character-based movies that take the audience through the ups and downs of a slice of a character’s life. The cast was sewn compatibly together and the mockumentary-esque icing made it all the better.

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There you have it, The Banana Times’ Oscar Predictions. I am honestly still bitter that (500) Days of Summer did not get nominated for anything! The Academy Awards still favors dramatic films and performances, leaving genuine comedies, romances, and even dramadies in the dust next to Thomas Haden Church and his crappy and redundant existence in the invisible third movie of the Spiderman film franchise. F*** I hate that movie so much I want to punch James Cameron right in the Piranhas.

-phibz.

A couple of months ago, I had a conversation with a good friend about my future and how The Banana Times is going to progress. One option for my future was to work for a few years then return to school for a masters degree in possibly Journalism. She asked why not Film Studies, and travel the world for my thesis. I responded “but I wouldn’t know what to write about”. With a brief hesitation I said “…Banana Cinema?”. In retrospect it was an obvious answer, but it never crossed my mind. Naturally, my friend knew this would be the answer all along.

It makes perfect sense since the national cinemas around the world have already been deeply covered and analyzed. Looking further, we live in such a globalized, information-dependent, and international society that language is becoming less and less of a requirement. With that said, national cinemas are evolving beyond the restrictions of their geography and race, thus Banana Cinema is possible.

Banana Cinema will not be contained within a country or a specific culture. It will encompass many Asian cultures and the traces they leave in broadening their horizons past their borders and into other identities. This is definitely something new that can be explored, where a national cinema requires not a nation, but a unified globalized ideology of sorts.

Looking back in the last 10 years, were there any potential young representatives of Banana Cinema that came about? Here are a three people I thought of who have made strides in culture, art and media, as well as influenced myself and The Banana Times (alphabetical order):

John Cho (Actor):

We know John Cho from the American Pie films, Harold & Kumar, and now in ABC’s new drama, Flashforward. Cho has made his mark with the Asian community by by portraying the stereotypical yellowman in Harold & Kumar (soon to be) trilogy, but has graciously advanced into deeper roles such as the revamped Hikaru Sulu in JJ Abrams’ Star Trek and even a guest spot on How I Met Your Mother as the Caucasian-named Jeff Coatsworth. In my opinion his most significant “Banana” role was in Justin Lin’s Better Luck Tomorrow where he played the cunning spoiled Asian high-school student, Steve Choe. More on the film later.

Utada Hikaru (Singer/Songwriter):

Utada Hikaru has very little to do with cinema, let alone Banana Cinema, but she has made huge strides in bringing together Asian and Western audiences. Utada’s body of work speaks for itself, with 5 Japanese and 3 English studio albums selling well over 70 million copies. Although her English work is not as powerful or influential as her native tongue, her global reach is undeniable. You’d be hard pressed to find an Anime lover or a gamer who has not heard of Utada Hikaru (Kingdom Hearts, Rebuild of Evangelion). Personally, if Easy Breezy was not selected as her American debut single, Exodus would have been way more popular and recognized (an underrated album methinks).

Justin Lin (Director):

Born in Taiwan and grew up in LA, Justin Lin made one of the most relatable film to Banana Cinema. Better Luck Tomorrow revolved around a group of Asian-American high school students who became bored of school life and resorted to crime and violence. It was made with a very low budget ($250,000) but made it to the Official Selection of Sundance and the Toronto International Film Festival. The stereotypical Asian student who excels in school is portrayed relevantly, with a splash of crime and drama reminiscent of many Hong Kong films. Lin went on to direct Annapolis and Fast & Furious, but he will forever be remembered, at least in our eyes, by the man who possibly kickstarted Banana Cinema.

Please note that the aforementioned three people are not in any way better or more significant than any other possible representatives of Banana Cinema or any topic regarding the blending of Asian and Western cultures. They were elaborated on because of their emergence in the last decade more or less.

Honorable Mentions (alphabetical):
Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Ang Lee, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Lucy Liu, Masi Oka, Ken Watanabe, John Woo, Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Ziyi

-phibz.

The first decade of our second millennia is coming to a close in 6 days, and it seems a little anti-climactic. But to highlight this landmark event, we here at TheBananaTimes are going to countdown to 2010 with a series of posts called “Decading Bananas: Hong Kong”. As I am now in Hong Kong and will be dissolving into the new year here as well, I will comment and enlighten some cultural, historical and social topics in the past 10 years, mostly relating to the my own experiences and more importantly, the big picture – The Banana.

PART I – THE COMMERCIAL HARBOUR

Being an international student growing up in Hong Kong, the pop culture we absorbed was mainly from the television (Note: International students in HK attended schools where English was the primary language being taught, local students were taught in Cantonese). Those of my generation experienced their childhood and adolescence in a Hong Kong still under British rule with the looming and inevitable handover on the horizon. This meant that the media that we were surrounded by were not necessarily national, and as our schools implied, but were mixed in Eastern and Western cultures.

Post-handover and into the 2000s, Hong Kong TV still retained its bilingual tendencies and its international reputation even increased. Due to the dip in the economy after the 1997 handover from British rule, tourism was a financial savior, and thus the international, consumerist and packaged Hong Kong was more apparent than ever. Spawning from this tourist dependency was a flurry of intricate, touching, narratively rich television commercials and advertisements.

My first day back in town, I had the privilege to check out a Cathay Pacific commercial shoot. I got to Cathay City, the main headquarters of the corporate airliner. They had a half a floor filled with interior sets of airplanes, from models of the 80s up until the latest “fishbone” model today. Walking around the sets was nostalgic and almost dreamlike.

The director was an Englishman, Laurence Dunmore (directed The Libertine), whose fast-pace efficient style controlled the flow of the set intricately. His direction was voiced in a firm and demanding tone but was not intended to be forceful or even rude, just efficient. This attitude suits Hong Kong’s work ethic perfectly, where unnecessary work and roundabout methods are frowned upon. Any thing or time that is wasted is a hindrance to success. It is a dream for any Hong Kong artist in charge of a multilingual set to operate like this.

Another CX commercial directed by Laurance Dunmore

Other than the director and 4 or 5 other people, the rest of the crew were Cantonese speakers. Even with the majority of the cast and crew being Chinese, Dunmore’s fast-pace efficiency still held out. This goes to show the potential of international collaboration in a place like Hong Kong. After realizing this, I discovered where my inter-disciplinary mindset and attraction to cross-cultural creativity originates. This way of thinking was how The Banana Times came about.

The commercials that I have been drawn to, and that have inspired me in the last decade was a clear foundation behind The Banana Times and what we aim to do here. I only hope that even after 12 years after the handover from British rule that this collaborative and unified ideology will not fade, and that Hong Kong is not the only post-colonial region that has adopted this creative practice.

One of my favourite CX commercials

I shall conclude Part I of Decading Bananas here, and ask why not encourage cross-cultural understanding and integration under the common goal of creativity and art? Even if it is for commercial purposes. Until Part II, I bid you all a very happy Christmas!

-phibz.

The Nettwerk Music group is an American music company that began to produce Mandarin-language, Beijing-based American artists, and Chloe Wang is their latest product.

Chloe is from Chicago, who apparently was not aware of China until the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Funny how that works. Her father is Chinese and I presume her mother is Caucasian, she looks mixed. She shares the same producers asf Madonna, Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus, lets just hope she does not follow their footsteps TOO closely. Otherwise you’ll have a pregnant, pre-pubescent, buck-toothed embodiment of controversy – who is bilingual. Full article at CRI English.

Here’s her latest music video titled “Uh Oh”, and yes, its in Mandarin:

She looks great. Dancing could be improved but that can be arranged. Just can’t wait until she follows her predecessors and have her precious innocence stripped away..

-phibz.

The Banana Times was graciously invited to the world premiere of Iron Road at York University in Toronto, Ontario. Iron Road is a period film about the construction of the Canadian Pacific Railway in the early 1880s and the tragedies that surrounded it. Directed by David Wu, the film revolves around Little Tiger, a young Chinese girl from Hong Kong disguised as a boy who took the opportunity to earn money and search for her missing father by signing up to work for the railway.

When we were first invited to the screening and was told it was about Chinese immigrants who worked on the Canadian Railway, I immediately thought it was a documentary. But in fact it was a Canadian-produced feature with Sam Neill (Jurassic Park), Peter O’Toole (Laurence Of Arabia) and Hong Kong star Tony Leung-Ka Fai (Election).

Prior to the movie, many high-ranking members of the film industry and the government made several speeches, most notably David Miller, the Mayor of Toronto. In my opinion, the speeches were more influential and inspiring than the film itself.

Mayor Miller reminded us of Prime Minister Harper’s national apology to the Chinese population in 2006 for the head tax placed on Chinese immigrants after the railroad was completed. Another speaker said that none of the 15,000 Chinese workers were invited to the grand opening of the railway, and how they could not bring their families over because of the $500 head tax which at the time was worth over two years salary.

It was announced at the end of the screening that the film was not the final cut and many parts were taken out. If this were said at the beginning, I would’ve understood the choppy sound editing and pixelization of the image. I also discovered later that Iron Road is going to be released as a mini-series and not in theatres, which again, would have bred more understanding from the audience. On to the review:

Very mild spoiler alert

Little Tiger, played by Sun Li, was a firecracker salesman (salesgirl?) in Hong Kong and has a lot of experience with explosives which she demonstrates on the railroad. Sun’s performance was strong throughout the film and definitely stole the spotlight away from her counterpart Luke MacFarlane whose awkwardness never ceased, especially when his character abruptly fell in love with Little Tiger. I had to hold back laughter when he said, “Tiger! I love you!”. Sagat’s going to be confused.

Sam Neill played the father of MacFarlane’s character and held his ground as the ambitious manager of the railroad construction. My favourite part of the movie was Peter O’Toole’s witty performance as the British agent in Hong Kong who was responsible for gathering Chinese men for the railroad. His drunken, humorous personality and fatherly attitude towards Tiger alone should have earned him a much larger role.

Making a fiction feature film in Canada is beyond difficult without an abundance of helping hands. The application for numerous funds and joint productions is the reason why there is a lack of Canadian feature films. The selection process of these applications is also very strict as they require clear identification of Canadian culture, whatever that is, and market appeal.

Certainly the historic backdrop of Iron Road assimilates to the backbone of Canadian origins. But the inclusion of a sappy and unrealistic romance between a Canadian railroad manager and a Chinese girl disguised as a boy, diminishes the importance of this dark period in Canadian history. In the end, the film was not about the experiences of the Chinese railroad workers but the gut-wrenching melodrama between the two leads. There was so much that could have been expanded, but the cheesy romance prevailed. Imagine Saving Private Ryan not conveying the solider-life of World War II, but a love story between Tom Hanks and a German prostitute.

Other than the unnecessary romance, the repetitive soundtrack constantly dropped out at the end of certain scenes. Again, not knowing it was not the final cut, I would’ve understood the choppy editing. Several shots in the scenes of Hong Kong were largely pixelized, especially on objects with bright colours, as if they forgot to render their timeline on Final Cut or Premiere.

With the cheese and Hollywood assimilation aside, the racial and historic context of the film was clear. Without the passionate commentary made before the film by important figures of our industry and government, the film would have plummeted further.

Overall, the message was received, and I salute the families of those who worked on the railroad in order for us to have such a diverse and accepting society today.

The Banana Verdict:
out of 10

-phibz.

Edit:

The title Sayonara Davey reminded me of a crazy, funky and geek Japanese rock band called Sambomaster, whom I thorougly recommend, and their song “Sayonara Baby!”. Listen below:

Sayonara Baby – Sambomaster

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For those of you who don’t know, George Simmons is a character in Judd Apatow’s upcoming movie Funny People played by Adam Sandler. They made a website for George Simmon as a way to virally advertise the movie, and on their site is their is a movie within a movie called Sayonara Davey. which you can check out in the player below (Ken Jeong from Apatow’s Knocked Up and recently The Hangover is also in the clip).

So Ken Jeong’s Japanese accent was not great and the humor in general was acceptable. Adam Sandler is just portraying what he is typcasted as. Haven’t we overused the foreign mispronunciation of English words that make it sound like curse words too much already? I think Austin Powers milked it for all its worth:

The line where the wife says, “You’ve opened our eyes! Well…as wide as we can open them”. I mean that’s just uncalled for. Funny? A little bit, but it could’ve done without it. Judd Apatow makes good comedy sandwiches with occasional dramatic fillings, but I think his sense of humor for foreigners could use some work. Like in Forgetting Sarah Marshall he had to put an Asian couple stereotypically taking pictures of themselves with empty plates…actually that was not bad. Apologies to Asian empty-plate-photographers.
More Ken Jeong goodness on Jimmy Kimmel:

I can’t help but feel Asians are still being subtly prejudiced and stereotype in Hollywood. But I guess that goes for most non-Caucasian portrayals in American films

-phibz.

I thought I had published this post, but due to some weird problem it remained as a draft. So here it is, with the date stamped on Saturday June 13th 2009.

On this day of wonders, Lester and Alex from Lemon Meringue Productions and I took a mini-road trip to the outskirts of the Greater Toronto Area to scout locations for the upcoming episodes of The Awkward Compilation. We did most of our scouting in two rural communities called Georgetown and Halton Hills. Our mission was to search for a certain scenic area needed in an important scene in the coming installments of Awkward. The mission was successful, but it was not easy. Natural awesomeness is found in this area, so don’t be surprised future The Banana Times Productions projects to be shot here.

We followed digital leads given by Google Maps only to find empty spaces of green. Our first move was to ask the residents of the towns. The cashier from a convenience store didn’t know a thing. But the florist from the nearby grocery store directed us to another florist who lead us to a ‘fragrant’ fertilizer farm who told us the address of another family who gave us our last clue and lead us to a historic farm. That was where we found our natural prop. Success.

Overall it was like we were in a real-life RPG game. Discovering different leads and clues to complete our mission. The rural adventure was great but what struck me most was the lack of Asians, and it was enlightening. Those who see Canada in a non-stereotypical way recognizes us as a hub of multiculturalism and a melting pot of ethnicities. However, this is only prominent in big cities such as Toronto and Vancouver for the most part.

On the outskirts of Toronto, we did not see a single ‘yellow’ person. So I presumed that we would stand out of the predominantly white community, and we did. But no one gave us judgmental glares or leers of surprise. We were generally accepted and every person we talked to were more than helpful. Certainly the multiculturalism has not spread to the rural regions of Canada, but the understanding and acceptance of non-Caucasian people is positively present.

Growing your own livelihood is rooted deeply in many Asian cultures but it did not immigrate to Canada with the population, which is not a bad thing. Canada has a gift of natural tranquility and what seems to be an abundance of green, only if we strive to protect it. As members of the Canadian society we are lucky to have this flourishing environment, and within this, far away from the metropolis lies acceptance of other cultures and races. Another gift we should definitely not take for granted.

-phibz.